


Tainted Love

by fhsa_archivist



Category: The X-Files
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-05-31
Updated: 2004-06-27
Packaged: 2019-02-05 15:58:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,428
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12797760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fhsa_archivist/pseuds/fhsa_archivist
Summary: Jealousy leads to abduction.





	1. Tainted Love

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Haven, the archivist: This story was originally archived at [Fandom Haven Story Archive (FHSA)](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Fandom_Haven_Story_Archive), was scheduled to shut down at the end of 2016. To preserve the archive, I began working with the OTW to transfer the stories to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. If you are this creator and the work hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact me using the e-mail address on [Fandom Haven Story Archive collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/fhsa/profile).

"You are mine. You * have* always been mine. You * will* always be mine."

 

"Fuck you!" 

 

"You don't seem to understand the situation. You are the one who is naked

and bound. You won't be fucking anyone. I, however, will be fucking you.

And you will beg me for it." 

 

"I'll never beg you for anything. I'd rather fucking die." 

 

"I'm not going to let you die. A dead man wouldn't be entertaining at

all. I'm not into necrophilia. I want to make you scream when I make you

come. You owe me." 

 

"Owe you? For what?" 

 

"You killed me." 

 

"You killed me!" 

 

"Ah, but I had no intention of leaving you dead. You wanted me dead." 

 

"Can you blame me? After all you've done to me?" 

 

"You shouldn't have fucked Mulder." 

 

My mouth dropped open with surprise. I snapped it shut abruptly and

looked into the flashing green eyes of the man holding me captive. It

couldn't be. He had done all this out of jealousy? 

 

"What makes you think I fucked Mulder?" 

 

"I saw you. Were you fucking him while you were seeing me?" 

 

"I suppose you expect me to believe you weren't getting on your knees for

Spender. Where I stick my dick is none of your business." 

 

I was aiming to hurt him the way he had hurt me and it worked. The pain

flashed in his eyes and then they shut down. Right then I knew I'd said

the wrong thing but I was too fucking stubborn to confess to him. Looking

back now I don't know if I could have stopped what happened. Neither of us

was ready to trust. 

 

He walked away from me and opened a small bag that was lying on a table.

He had been fitted with a new hand that was obviously more dexterous than

his old one. I watched as the ginger was pulled from the bag. 

 

I watched puzzled as he cut a portion of the finger. The piece he cut was

about four inches long. Then he began to peal it carefully and dip it into

a clear bowl filled with ice water. In a conversational voice he began to

speak as though he was discussing the weather. 

 

"Have you ever heard of 'figging', Walter?" 

 

He glanced over at me with that smirk that I would learn to dread over

the course of the next few hours. I tightened my lips and refused to

answer. His head tilted, his liquid gaze directed at me through his

lashes. A look that once had been enough to make me hard. 

 

"No? Well, let me explain. It is thought by some to have been an adjunct

to caning. Don't worry, I'm not going to start you off with caning. We'll

start with something milder. The ginger was prepared as I am preparing it

now and then inserted in the anus. Then once the caning began the person

on the receiving end would feel the additional burn from the ginger if

they tightened their anus." 

 

"So you're going to shove that up me. When you said you were going to

fuck me, I had a different image in mind." 

 

"Don't fret, Wally. We'll get around to that. I know you want to feel my

dick inside you." 

 

"Fuck you!" He knows how I hate being called Wally. 

 

"Tsk, Tsk. You really need to display those vocabulary skills I've heard

in the past. You know what they say about cursing." 

 

I snapped my mouth shut and watched as he carved a small lip into the

root. It was good to know he wasn't going to take the chance that he might

push it too far inside me. That turned out to be the only good thing about

it. 

 

He dropped the ginger into the bowl. He then walked out of my line of

sight. I heard two thuds that sounded like his boots dropping. Then the

sound of a belt buckle being opened. When he walked back to the table, he

was naked. 

 

Even without my glasses I could see the irritation to his stump from the

new arm. It looked painful and I wondered why he didn't just take it off.

But then he'd need it to do what he planned to me. 

 

I pulled again at the restrains holding me, finding them just as strong

as before. He smiled that crooked smile at me. The bad little boy smile

that I had once found so appealing. He picked up the ginger and walked

toward me. 

 

I didn't feel it at first. The root was slender, cold and slipped in

easily. I silently cursed the cold but was soon wishing I had it back when

the burn started. Then he walked back around, gripped my cock and I

tensed. I bit down on my lip until it bled so I wouldn't give him the

pleasure of hearing my pain. 

 

He let my cock go to catch the drops of blood. I watched as he licked

them from his fingers. 

 

"I always did like the taste of you, Walter. I'd compare you to a fine

wine but I don't think you'd in the right mood for that." 

 

His hand dropped back to my dick making me grip the ginger again. This

time I let the groan escape. My cock didn't seem to care that my ass was

on fire. It wanted him. Fucking stupid piece of meat always wanted him,

even before my head had caught on to the idea. 

 

He stroked me expertly and brought me off quickly. It had been a while

since I'd even had time to jerk off. I watched as he licked his hand

clean. 

 

"Finger licking good, Wally. Just like always." 

 

I ignored the Wally that time. Waiting to see what was next on the

playbill. He went back to the table and picked up a condom. 

 

"Time for my cock. I'd do you raw but I don't want to be incapacitated by

the ginger." 

 

He walked behind me, yanked out the root and rammed into me. I obliged

him with a scream that time. Alex has a just over average length but he's

thick, very thick. So the burn from the ginger was aggravated by the burn

of being torn. 

 

He fucked me, hard and fast. There was no where to go, no escape. His

hand left deep bruises on my hip that didn't clear for three weeks.

Finally he grunted, slammed in once more and was still. He pulled out of

me, heading toward the table again. 

 

"Guess you haven't been bottoming to Mulder." 

 

I was confused until I saw him pull the bloody condom off and drop it in

the trashcan. He picked up a syringe. I watched as he stabbed it into my

thigh wondering if this was the end. 

 

I woke sometime later to find myself chained face down on a bed. He had

thrown cold water on me. 

 

"Walter, can you hear me? Wake up!" 

 

"What the fuck do you want? I don't need to be awake for you to fuck me."

 

"Drink this." 

 

He pressed a straw to my lips and I drank the cold juice. Pineapple, my

favorite. He followed that with a little water. 

 

That time when he fucked me he did go in raw. 

 

For the next two days he alternated his compliments with rapes or

flogging, once even using a crop. My entire body was hypersensitive. 

 

My traitorous body responded to him time after time. The bed under me was

soaked with my come. The stench of us was hanging in the air. 

 

I dimly heard the phone ringing but didn't want to come out of my dream.

My mind had become a turncoat as well, giving me delicious dreams of the

time when I thought he loved me, when I loved him. 

 

I did come awake as he slid inside me once more. This time moving slowly

and sweetly. His lips caressing the back of my skull, the edge of my ears.

 

"Our time is almost over, Walter. Mulder and Doggett are on the way

here." 

 

The kisses continued as he took me gently. 

 

"Why couldn't you just love me? That's all I ever wanted. I would die for

you. I love you even though I know you won't ever believe me." 

 

I felt the dampness. Moisture ran along my face and I tasted his tears.

He shook against me and I felt the heat as he flooded me. Then he was

pulling out. The door closed before I could get my head around what had

just happened. 

 

"Alex!" 

 

But my voice just echoed back at me. He was already gone. 

 

+++++++++++++ 

 

Epilogue 

 

When Mulder and Doggett found me, I lied. I said I didn't know who had

kidnapped me. I told them that I never saw a face and there were no words

spoken. I could tell they didn't believe me. But they wouldn't have

believed the truth either. I was kidnapped, raped and beaten by a dead

man. 

 

A dead man who I loved, who I would probably never see again. 

 

I retired a month later. Everyone believed it was because of the

incident. But truth was I couldn't face being reminded of him. The dreams

were bad enough, being where I had talked to him, learned to love him,

killed him - that was too much for me. 

 

So now I live as far from the world as I could go and still get books or

movies when I want. I bother no one and no one bothers me. Until yesterday

that is. 

 

Mulder sent me an email. He says Alex has been spotted, boarding a plane

for the nearest city to me. So I'm waiting. But I'm not allowing myself to

hope. 

 

TBC 

 

Continued in Second Hand Emotion


	2. Second Hand Emotion

It had been three days since Mulder's email. I had decided the information was wrong. The day was warm and I was sitting on the porch swing trying to read the latest Clancy. I'm not sure why I looked up but a car was slowing down on the main road. It stopped next to the mailbox then eased forward to turn into the rutted road leading up to the house. 

 

Whoever was driving was going slow. Good thing too or he might have lost his axle. I waited, knowing in my gut it was him. He pulled up into the wide space near the porch. I stood and waited, still not sure what I would do. 

 

He stepped out of the car. We stood for an eternity just looking at each other.

 

"It's a long drive, want something to drink?"

 

"Sure, if you don't mind."

 

"Come in then."

 

I turned and walked into the house without looking back. I heard the door hinge squeak as he opened the door, then his footsteps following me. I opened the fridge and pulled out the pitcher of tea I'd made a couple of hours before.

 

"Do you want lemon? I seem to remember you liked lemon in your iced tea."

 

"Yes, thank you."

 

"Well, have a seat."

 

I pulled out glasses and poured the tea, sweetened with sugar while it was still warm. I set a glass in front of him and then grabbed a lemon from the bowl on the counter. A couple of cuts, another smaller bowl, and the lemon was set in front of him. As he doctored his tea I pulled out the coffeecake I'd baked that morning. I was becoming quite domestic in my dotage. He gave me a brief smile as I placed a healthy portion of cake in front of him. 

 

"Looks good, Walter."

 

"It is good."

 

He took a bite and then a sip of tea and smiled again. I waited as he ate his cake, sipping at my own glass of tea. Finally, he looked up at me.

 

"I wasn't sure you'd let me in. Figured you'd shoot me and claim I was trespassing."

 

"Didn't have my piece handy. Why are you here?"

 

Part of me wanted to throw him down and kiss him breathless, part still wanted to slug him. I was wearing my AD face to make sure none of that showed. 

 

"I owe you."

 

"Owe me?"

 

"I hurt you. That was wrong."

 

"Yes, it was. But I still don't understand why you are here."

 

I almost held my breath then, wanting to hear him say those words again, but not sure what I would do if he did. I almost dropped my glass when he stood and began to undress. 

 

"What the fuck are you doing?"

 

He looked at me with that lost boy look that I remembered from the night he had first tried to seduce me and I had tried to say no.

 

"Getting ready for you to take your revenge. I owe you that."

 

I sat flabbergasted as he finished stripping. No words would come, not even when he removed his prosthesis. He stood before me his gaze unflinching. When I didn't speak, he tilted his head, looking puzzled.

 

"Where do you want me, Walter? All I ask is that I'm able to drive when you're through. I don't want any injuries to be traced back to you so it's better if I'm found somewhere else. I stopped to get a motel room not too far from here. I'll go back there when you finish with me."

 

I stared at him so long his eyes dropped from mine. So long in fact, he started to fidget. Had he come to me with this offer during the first month after that weekend of torture my anger might have led me to hurt him. But I'd had almost a year to think it through. 

 

I had only been with Mulder once. He wasn't what I wanted. Besides, he had always loved Scully. He just liked having a cock up his ass now and again. Must have been a hold over from his Oxford days. Privately, I didn't think that would change but I also knew he'd always be discreet, he'd never take a chance on taking anything home to her. 

 

I looked at his body while I tried to decide how to proceed. Even scarred he was still beautiful to me. I still wanted him. Didn't for a minute believe we could make it work, but I coveted him all the same.

 

"What made you come here? Making me an offer like this?"

 

"I heard that you were living out here, alone. Heard that Mulder and Scully got married. That made me think I may have been wrong. Was I? Was Mulder just a fling?"

 

 

"He wouldn't even rate as that. It was a one-night stand. I was drunk and he was horny."

 

He raised his head and looked at me then. His eyes so pain filled it hurt to look at them. His voice when he spoke was so low I almost didn't catch it. 

 

"So, I fucked off what I had with you for nothing. You might have come to love me if I'd…"

 

I let him stew in his thoughts for a long moment. Guess I wanted a little revenge after all. Then I stood, took him by his hand and pulled him out of the kitchen and to the bedroom. He followed me without resistance. 

 

In the bedroom I pushed him gently toward the bed. I walked to the closet as he tugged the duvet down toward the end of the bed. I opened the closet and removed several of the ties I no longer wore. By the time I had turned back he was lying face down on the bed, my pillows under his hips. 

 

I didn't speak as I secured him to my bed. I had often fantasized about having him helpless during the time he was making me jump through hoops. All those fantasies involved pain. Now, I just wanted to figure out how to make him stay. How to heal our hurts and go forward. 

 

Words have never been easy for me. Add that to the macho bullshit every man is capable of and stir in a male lover and you have a perfect recipe for failure. If he had confronted me about Mulder we might have gone down a different road. But I was as guilty. Had I told him the truth when he had me bound… Best to not go there the past couldn't be changed no matter how much we might want it to be.

 

I undressed as silently as I had done everything for the past few minutes. He didn't even test the ties holding him in place. His eyes were closed but had they been open I'm sure they would have shown surrender. 

 

I opened the drawer by the bed, removing the lube and condoms. His eyes opened as he heard the sound of the condoms being ripped apart. He stared as I rolled one on. Then he closed his eyes again. He gasped as I smeared lube between his cheeks. I knew he had been expecting a dry fuck. 

 

Once I had him slick I rubbed the rest of the lube onto my covered cock. Kneeling carefully between his legs I positioned myself. He sucked in a deep breath that escaped from him in a long sigh as I slipped into him slowly and gently.

 

"I don't think you're going to be able to drive when I'm through with you. I intend to take my revenge slowly. A little every day for the rest of our lives."

 

I pulled out then and thrust back into to him angling to hit his prostate. His quickly cut off squeal made me smile. I nuzzled against his throat locating the spot I knew drove him wild. 

 

His voice was a husky whisper. "I don't understand. Don't you want to hurt me?"

 

"I think we've hurt each other enough, Alex. I think it's time for us to admit that we want each other, that we belong to each other."

 

"But…"

 

"But me no buts, Alex. The longer you argue with me the longer you're going to spend tied to my bed. For the next little while all I want to hear from you is please, harder, fuck me, or I'm coming. Sighs, whimpers, whines and screams are all acceptable as well. Do you understand?"

 

"Yes, I understand."

 

He shifted a little under me and tightened his muscles around me. I bit my lip, needing pain to distract my cock. I took my time, going still inside him every time I was close to coming. He obeyed me quite well for a long time. All his need echoing back at us from the bare walls of the room. 

 

When he finally let the words flow I gave up trying to hold back. 

 

"Harder, Walter, please! I need to come!"

 

I drove in deep, reaching under him to grasp his dick. I pumped him hard and fast, my climax roaring through me as his ass tried to pull me farther inside. He made a strangled noise as his cock erupted in my hand. I collapsed onto his back as I tried to fill my oxygen-starved lungs. 

 

Finally, I rolled off him to the sound of a low moan. I untied him, pulled him into my arms and kissed him. 

 

"I wasn't expecting that."

 

"I know. I wasn't sure myself what I'd do when you showed up."

 

"Is it all right if I say I like your decision?"

 

"Say what you feel, Alex. I think it's time we both did. Let's shower and we'll go enjoy the sunset before we eat dinner."

 

I led him to the bathroom and we bathed each other. I held him close on the swing as we watched the sun go down. We didn't talk much that night or for the next several days. We went and got his things from the motel, took the rental car back. 

 

For that first month we were careful with each other. We spent a lot of time messing up the sheets. I bottomed as often as I topped. And slowly we began to tell each other the things we should have long ago. I can't remember which one of us said it first. And you know it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that it was dropped casually into a conversation and we weren't fucking at the time. 

 

That was five years ago. The best five years of my life. I hope he feels the same. I think he does. 

 

The End


End file.
